Singles and the Family of God

As we continue with the focus on the family this year new facets are emerging in discussions among our people.  One of themes we do not talk much about is singles.  Often when we talk family we focus so much on the ideal traditional family, where father, mother and children are in one accord, that we mistreat other families, different families, single parent families, singles.

Singles are treated as a problem to be solved, a disease to be cured.  Often comments are made like “Don’t worry, your time will come,” “soon you’ll meet someone,” “it’s just around the corner for you.”  And if someone remains single the attitude of people often is “What’s wrong with you?”

Such is a wrong mind set, biblically speaking.  While traditional family has a significant role to play in developing society, populating the earth and transmitting values to the next generation, the marriage is often in competition with ministry for the Kingdom of God. Today I am planning to unpack more Jesus teaching on marriage in recorded in the Gospel of Matthew 19^th chapter, and also teachings of the Apostle Paul in the 1^st letter to Corinthians, 7^th chapter.  Christ and his apostle lifted high singleness, as an idea of total commitment to the kingdom service.

Instead of “good vs. bad” dichotomy between marriage and singleness, the picture is presented as “good and better.”  The family language as referring to the Kingdom of God is significant.  New believers are considered spiritual children, and spiritual parenting is not connected necessarily to physical parenting.  Christian disciples are spiritual children.  Spiritual parenting permits singles to influence and invest in developing children for God’s family. 

In the context of the Christian church, all are to be involved in doing family together, being a family for each other.  This world puts pressure on “sexy” and “sexless” to enter into relationships for sake of physical satisfaction and accomplishment.  Biblical paradigm invites one to consider God’s calling and giftedness as determining factor of identity.

Often family duties, where the spouse is not supportive or committed to God’s Kingdom, or where children are not spiritually mature, take the best and the most energy and efforts, leaving nothing left for the kingdom sake.  Some may say “family is my full time ministry.”   Which is true, we are responsible for our offspring, and relatives, and they must be our first disciples. Yet, if we are truly ministering to our family, then our family members will become our partners in the ministry for the Kingdom of God, and not be consumers of material benefits only.

I am not downplaying the role of the family in our church.  I am inviting to upgrade the role of singles in our congregation to the Biblical status of worth, respect, trust, and recognition as God’s calling too.