Fathers are NOT babysitters

As I am reading through the Bible with family during the evening worship time we are reminded the unlimited authority and power fathers appreciated in the “old days.”  Of course, mothers had their way of handling fathers (word “manipulating” here would be very politically incorrect J); and I am thinking of Sarah setting up Abraham with Hagar; Rebekah tricking Isaac to bless Jacob, Rachel giving Jacob an attitude, knowing that she was the favorite, and these are just a few samples.

Some call the Bible stories “chauvinistic,” giving too much “macho” power to men.  Many readers consider that women were relegated into background of those antique stories.  Surface reading may even bias contemporary Christian men not to take seriously their parental role, and our attitudes toward parenting betray it.  Let me illustrate with some examples.

I found an interesting article about “8 Stupid Things You Should Stop Saying to Dads” written this week, just before the Father’s Day.  The top on the list is “Dad must be babysitting today, huh?"  YOU CAN'T BABYSIT YOUR OWN KIDS!!! Fathers are not paid caretakers. People would never look at a mom with her kids and ask if she was babysitting. Yet when a dad is out with his kids, so many people automatically and without thinking about it call it babysitting. Even some dads refer to it that way because it's so accepted. Dads don't babysit. Ever.

Another wrong thing to say to a father is: "Oh look at you playing Mr. Mom today."  Fatherhood isn't a version of motherhood, and dads aren't playing the part of a mom. That implies parenting is some sort of women's work.  The number of stay-at-home dads has doubled in the last quarter-century, and even dads who work outside the home are focusing more on work/life balance because there's a renewed focus on shared parenting and being present. 

Or, people seeing dad out with kids would comment “Oh my. You're brave." Are moms "brave" for taking their kids on errands? Of course not. You expect that from moms. If you're not pinning a medal of honor on mom simply for being a parent and going grocery shopping, don't bother with one for dad either.

The list of our silly attitudes toward dads can go on.  Yet, when one considers the Bible, the Torah – fathers were very involved in parenting!  Deuteronomy 6:4-10 has been called the Magna Carta of the home which would guarantee the happiness and well being of the family in the purpose of God.  Teaching children God’s laws and statutes was father’s role and responsibility.  Psalm 103:13 states that it is father’s role to show compassion and pity on his children.  Parenting has always been a teamwork of mom and dad, together, in unity.

Make this father’s day a celebration of partnership-parenting, and not some exclusive, once a year emphasis on father as a parent-for-a-day.